Confessions of a Worrier

Hello. My name is Courtney, and I am a worrier.

            Seriously, if there was such a thing as worriers anonymous, I would have to attend. I am constantly worrying about the future. And being a worrier causes me to be a planner. I like to plan things out in detail. I like to be in control. I like to know exactly what’s going to happen and when it’s going to happen and where it’s going to happen and who’s going to be there.      

            I worry about five minutes from now. I worry about five days from now. I worry about five weeks from now. I worry about five years from now.

            I try to justify my ridiculous worrying and planning by saying that I am simply being smart. I am being responsible by preparing for what’s to come.

WRONG!

            What I’m really doing is missing out on opportunities to serve God in the here and now. I end up not living a life fully dedicated to bringing Him honor and glory because I am so caught up in looking forward that I lose sight of where God has placed me right now.

            I have been very convicted about this lately because this is a time of life when it would be very easy to be focused on the future. And while I know that God has a plan for me in the future, He also has a plan for me right now. Today. At Central Baptist College in Conway, Arkansas. My main focus should be on following God’s daily will for my life, and He will lead me to the future.

            I’m not saying that a little bit of planning if a bad thing, but when it begins to keep my from fully putting my trust in God’s plan and giving Him complete control of my life, something is wrong.

            Slowly, I am learning to “let go and let God.” He is teaching my every day how to surrender myself fully to Him right where I am. I’m glad though that he is patient, gracious, and loving because I’m stubborn, and it’s going to take a while for me to fully get it. But I know that with His guidance and strength, He will bring me to that place.